Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Time for that other entry...

[ This is the entry I wrote Sunday morning but did not have a chance to type in. At least until now. So remember, any date or day references should be with respect to Sunday. ]

I believe I mentioned before that I don't usually remember that I dreamed, let alone what any dream may have been about. Well, last night was different. I had a very vivid dream and remembered it perfectly on waking. It is fading somewhat now, but it is still remembered. However, it was the dream itself, not the fact that I remembered it, which threw me. So much so that I wanted to get it down right away, but also could not sit at home to type it in.

So I have compromised, if you can call it that. I got out of the house and am currently sitting in Friday's writing this out in a paper journal. I will transcribe it into my online journal later.

Before I get to the dream, there is some background information I should give...

I recently heard from an old girlfriend, one that I had a "colourful" relationship with. We went our separate ways around the beginning of 2003 and although I had not heard from her since (before the last month or so) I had been thinking about her and wondering how she was doing and what she was up to. And I guess this wondering grew to the point that I was thinking about her a lot lately.

And then I heard from her.

We were both on IM at the same time and we started talking. We talked for a while and have talked a few times since. We have been talking through IM, email, and on the phone at various times. Although some might say we have talked a lot considering the history, I don't think we have really talked any more than I talk to my other friends. It just seems that way because of the year long gap with no contact.

And you know what? I hadn't realized how much I missed talking to her and having her as a friend.

This brings us up to the dream... I dreamed about us. I am not sure about the timeframe, but it did not seem like our past.

I had gone to visit her, she was still living at the same place she lived when we were involved, and there were a few other people there visiting as well. (Most of the people were ones I remember meeting when I actually did visit.) There was also a guy that I am sure I did not know. I assumed he was the guy she is seeing now.

I stayed in the area for a couple of days and we had a very good time. I was staying just down the road. Somehow I had an apartment for the span I was there, not a motel room.

Anyway, at some point the scene shifted and we were at a different location. One that, while it was familiar, I don't remember ever seeing before. While we were there the other people in the group slowly disappeared. I don't mean they faded out, just that they had some of business to take care of, or they just wandered off. Eventually it was just the two of us and we kept talking. We talked for quite a while and then kissed, the type of kiss that friends give each other, and finally we fell asleep cuddled up together.

And as I drifted off to sleep in the dream, I woke up in my bed.

Like I said, remembering a dream surprises me. This one even more so because of the content and especially the way it ended.

I am not sure what to make of it. But I do know a couple of related things.

I miss her as a friend and hope we can be friends again. I was not hoping for more than that, at least not consciously, as I would expect it to be as colourful as our past. Add to that the fact that I would not knowingly break-up a couple for my own gain. And she is in some kind of a relationship.

I suppose I should comment here (before anyone else does) that there was a time, years ago, when I got involved with a girl who was already in a relationship. However, I tried to get out of the situation and not break them up. Also, in the end that experience strengthened my stance. So I think my statement stands.


Sunday, March 28, 2004

Not what I intended to write...

I had gotten up and left this morning and wrote an entry (on paper) while I was out. I had intended to type it in and post it when I got home, but that is not happening yet. Let me tell you why...

I got home at the same time as two of my roommates (a couple) who very not having a good day, and apparently I made things worse. I can hear you asking "How did you do that?" Well, I did that by not killing one of her cats.

To be specific about what happened, from my perspective, I said "Hi" to them as I got inside and then started up the stairs. We have four cats in the house so I always make sure the stairs are clear of cats before I go so that I don't step on them. This time was no different, I looked and the stairs were clear.

At least they were clear when I started. I only got a step or two and then my foot started coming down on something soft and furry. I managed to stop my foot and the cat, who had decided to run under my foot while I was moving, got out unscathed. I did not fare as well. I had stopped my foot, but not my forward momentum, and I was going down. I managed to catch myself, but it involved my right hand shooting out against the wall, and my left forearm coming down HARD on the banister.

I stayed like that for a couple of seconds, mainly out of shock.

The next thing I knew I heard her yell "Maybe I should just should move out!" and she went storming up the stairs. I am not sure, but I think she had tears in her eyes. Either way, it was not pretty.

Shortly after this I overheard part of their conversation. I didn't want to, but when it is held just outside my bedroom door, I couldn't help but hear it. I did manage to filter out most of it, but the part where she was talking about the dirty look I gave her, with him saying that it was a only a look of pain, made its way through. It was around this time that I put a jacket back on and went outside for a while.

It is now a couple of hours later and things have calmed down. However that is probably because I am in my room typing this, she is upstairs, and he has gone to work.

I did have a chance to talk to him for a few minutes before he left for work but I have not talked to her yet. He said that she was having a bad day and was stressed out because of (and I quote him here) "her job sucking and me being stupid." He also suggested giving her some space and not trying to talk to her yet. Which is fine with me at the moment because I don't know what I would say.

I hope someone is having a better day than me.

I'll most likely type in the other post a little later, but I wanted to get this written, and somewhat vented, so that it didn't fester.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Let's add a feed...

A while back I added comments to this journal, now I have added a syndication feed. The feed is an ATOM feed, not RSS, and is supported by a growing number of feed readers. If you want more information on which readers support ATOM you can get it at

What does this mean to the readers?

This means that there are now multiple ways to find and read my journal. I'll list them below.

Yes, that is right. For those LiveJournal users out there who have enough "syndication points" you can now add a feed from this journal to your LiveJournal Friends page. Although you should keep in mind that while you can add comments through LiveJournal, there is no guarantee that I will see and read them. I read all the comments that are added to the journal at its original location, but comments added anywhere else there may be a feed may not be read. And of course there is still the address I setup specifically for people to email journal comments: journal(at)

So now that I have more ways for people to read, I suppose I should try to put up some content. And I should try to make it some content that people might find interesting enough to read.

What do you think? Anything you want to know?

Monday, March 22, 2004

Taking a bite out of the updates.

When I made the last couple of entries, I made them with every intention of posting a more in-depth entry shortly after. And while I am not sure how much more "in-depth" this one will be I do want to get at least some of the information out there.

With that being said, let's get started.

First, let me say that am much happier with the administration panel and options available with my new web host. Most of the administration with my old host was done by them. You tell them what you wanted and they set it up for you, not bad at first, but when they stopped paying attention to my emails and IMs, this became useless. My new host has everything I need, at least so far, in a control panel (the way it should be) and I can set things up myself.

The switch between hosts was smooth, with only a couple of hiccups, mainly with journal comments. These have been straighten out now and things should all be working. So if you see a problem, let me know.

And to continue this bite...

I have been having trouble with my teeth. For a past couple of weeks it has been really bad and has had me in the dentist's chair three times so far. The first time was so that the dentist could find out what was wrong and make an appointment to correct it. The second time was for the work, and the third was to correct a problem with the work he did. The end result at this point is that two teeth were filled and one has a temporary crown on it until I go back next Monday for the permanent crown. Oh, and the problem that he corrected in the third visit was that one of fillings was too thick so it was hitting very hard on every bite and causing much irritation until the whole lower half of the right side of my face was screaming in pain.

I guess I should say that the crown is going on a live tooth, there was no root canal. I am not sure if this is a good thing or not. It is, but a couple of the teeth are still irritated from the filling problem. So I am taking the Advil my dentist recommended and it is going away. Slowly, but it is going away. As for the crown, well, the tooth was cracked and starting to split. There was not enough good structure to keep the top of the tooth going but the root was fine. And one of the other teeth had also cracked. But that tooth had cracked though the biting surface, and while the crack had gone deep, it had not affected the sides of the tooth. This one was filled and the filling should hold the tooth together and prevent the crack from spreading any more.

Well, that is more than you probably wanted to hear about my teeth.

More soon. About something other than my teeth.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

Just another quick note

As some people had noticed, I have been having several problems with my web host. All the problems had resulted in my site being off-line for most of the past week. This is not the first time that the host in question has caused this type of issue, and I don't think it will be the last. One huge difference this time was that they would not respond to any of my inquires.

I have been thinking about changing my host for a while now due to some other issues, as well as the (previously very short-term) downtime, but this was the proverbial straw. I can deal with the site being down if there is a technical issue, but not with their support team ignoring me.

So I have changed hosts.

Please bear with me as I get things setup at the new site. There may be some things that don't work quite as they should, an the comments may not work at all for a while, but I will get this all worked out. My you want to make a comment before the comment system is working again, you may send it through email to