Sick and on the Couch

I hadn't realised it had been so long since I posted. I kept meaning to check in here and would even be planning what I was going to write, but I never actually typed it in and hit Post.

So... Here, in a nut shell, are a few things from the last few months:

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I did get in touch with some of the people I was talking about at the end of my last post.

I spoke to the mother of my god-daughter and found out how both of them are doing.

I got to visit with one of my brothers and enjoyed the weekend I spent there.

I went and played pool with one of my best friends, who also happens to be the first friend I made when I moved over 1000km away from home, to a new town in what was, for me, a foreign country. The move was for a job with a 6-12 month contract. That was over 15 years ago.

I have talked to others as well but there are still more that I have not spoken to and am looking forward to the time that I can.

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I resolved to lose weight. I have a goal in mind, and as of a couple of weeks ago I was 40 pounds above that goal. That is a lot of weight, it doesn't look as much on a 6'5" frame but it is still noticeable and I want to be rid of it.

In order to help me lose the weight I am getting out and walking. My normal walk, which I told myself I would do at least 3 times a week, is 2.2 miles according to my GPS tracker. More on this below.

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I was deathly ill over Christmas. For several days I could barely keep water down and survived on Pedialyte because it was the only thing that wouldn't overtax my system. Can I tell you that it quickly gets pretty disgusting when it is the only thing you are consuming for several days. It took weeks before I started to feel even mostly myself. Then I came down with a sinus infection which lingered for a while and kept me down longer.

It was somewhere in there that I fell into a depression which I am still clawing my way out of.

All of this means that I have not been myself and I have not gotten out to do my walking.

So, I am still about 40 pounds from my goal weight and I have been only been doing my walk once, maybe twice, a week. There have been entire weekends where I didn't leave my apartment or only got out long enough to pick up some groceries. This is changing.

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There have been several nights that I ended up sleeping on my couch.

I would go to bed but couldn't fall asleep. I would get up and do ... whatever trying to relax enough to fall asleep, but would find that I just couldn't get to sleep. At least not until I laid on the couch to read. Eventually, I got to the point where if I couldn't get to sleep I would just move out to the couch and sleep there.

It mostly worked.

...

So this is the first of my catch-up posts. It covers a lot of things but not even close to all of it.

Like my walk tonight... But that is a story for another post.

For now... Goodnight.

Becoming Myself

"To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle."

George Orwell

As has been mentioned on here in the past, I am a diabetic.

A few months ago my medication was changed due to the old medication losing its effectiveness. This is known to happen in as few as 5-8 years for some people. I got just about 12 years. A pretty good run by all accounts.

As with any new medication, you start with a lower dose and then adjust it upwards until you find the right level. We, me and my doctor, started adjusting the dose up, having to adjust it very slowly due to possible adverse effects if done too fast. {Think diabetic collapse, necessitating an ambulance ride if I could even make it to the phone.}

To cut a long story short, the meds didn't work as expected.

It was helping, and was improving things to a certain point, but after that point the improvement in bloodsugar stopped. So we kept increasing the dose since we were well below to allowed maximum, and did not see any further improvement.

What I did see, but it took me a while to figure this out, was that it was causing other issues. Headaches, insomnia, nausea, lethargy, just to name a few. {I have some insomnia to begin with, this took me from 6-7 hours a night down to 4-5.} Generally speaking I became a rather large lump who was in constant discomfort, if not all out pain.

I also wasn't always thinking straight. On the worst days it was all I could do to make it through work.

So it took a while, but eventually I caught on to what was happening.

So we cut the dosage back, to about a third of what it had reached, and my bloodsugar is still at the same high-ish level, but the aches and pains have eased and I am starting to get my energy back. The insomnia still sucks, but I have hopes for that as well.

So my doctor is still looking for alternatives and I am trying to get back to feeling like myself. Which is happening. Slowly, but it is happening.

Happy New Year.

I don't know if anyone is still reading this, but it doesn't really matter. I have always felt that I was writing it for me, and not necessarily for anyone else. {Self-doubt still there but, like most everything else, improving.}

** Hack ** Wheeze ** Snort ** Gasp **

I've been coughing and wheezing for several days now. I caught a nasty cold which has completely filled my sinuses as well as kept me coughing. There were even a couple of mornings I woke up to a tightness in my chest due to trouble breathing. I have been very careful to make sure I use 12-hour decongestant before bed. No more of this 4-hour sh*t stuff.

Not being able to breathe properly, or at all at times, through my nose has done wonders for my throat. My voice has gotten raspy and threatened to leave.

So, I took it easy this weekend. In fact I didn't even leave my apartment yesterday. Just rested, read, and watched some DVDs.

And shivered.

Not a lot, but some. And only partly because I was cold. {Yes, I was cold. This will mean more to some of you.}

I still needed to rest today, but I also had to work on a couple of projects with approaching deadlines. Splitting the difference, I worked from home.

...

On another note, 3 out of the last 8 nights I have woken up between 3 and 4AM after tossing and turning trying to get to sleep.

I hate insomnia.

And it's that much worse when you need rest to get over a sinus cold.