Sunday, May 23, 2004

Rites of Spring

I don't have much to say right now. Or more precisely, I am not going to say much right now.

It is late, and I am tired. I am just about finished packing, which is a good thing because I leave in the morning. I will have to throw my bags in my truck, along with some extra blankets and pillows, then head out to Rites of Spring. I am looking forward to it.

Obviously I will not be posting while I am there since I will not have access to a computer, but I should have plenty to post when I get back. I may even write a couple posts on paper while I am there which will get transcribed into this journal on my return. Maybe even backdated so they appear in the online journal dated as when they were written on paper.

Anyway, I should go o bed now.

I will see some of you at Rites, but whether you are going or not, I wish you all the best for your week.

Walk in Beauty

Friday, May 14, 2004

Update on my Grandmother

About a month ago I told you about my grandmother losing her vision just in time for her 95th birthday. I have received a few questions since then but have not posted anything else because there had been no change. Well, I think that it is time to update you even if there still is not much of a change...

Her vision is still very limited, only patches of light and dark, but this is not the most concerning thing, but I will get to that. We know that the vision lose was caused by damage to her optic nerve caused by problems with the blood flow. It now appears that there is some question as to whether the arteries became blocked, there was leakage, a minor hemorrhage, or something else.

Nanny is still staying with my aunt, and it appears that she probably will remain there as long as it is feasible. My uncle came up from California and has been there helping out for about a week now and will be staying for at least another three weeks yet. He is there to look after his mother, and to make sure she is still looked after properly when he has to go back to California. I trust that he will not make sure Nanny doesn't stay with my aunt if she can't get the care she needs there.

My bigger concern here is what other damage may have been done along with the damage to her optic nerve. The reason I wonder is because of the way she has been sleeping.

Since it happened she has been sleeping almost constantly. She wakes up to eat, and other necessities, but other than that she is constantly sleeping and wakes up only for a few minutes at a time. According to my mother, Nanny is still herself when she is awake, but the problem is how little time she is awake.

I am concerned about the sleep, especially since she is pretty much off the medications they gave her, but I am relieved to hear that she is still the same person. She is still the Nanny I love.

I'll keep you posted on any new developments as I find out about them. In the meantime I will continue to hold onto the hope I have.


Not Playing With a Full Deck

I have several decks of cards, I do collect them after all, but one of them is special. I can't really say much about it, including what makes it so special, for various reasons. The biggest reason is that there are still people I want to talk to about it, and reveal the deck to them, at a specific time. Since they may read this journal before I have a chance to talk to them, I don't want to reveal the information here yet.

There are people reading this who do know about this deck and should know what I am talking about. For the rest of you, I ask you to be patient and bear with me. I will tell you all about the deck sometime, just not yet.

The reason I bring this up is that the deck disappeared a while back. You could say that I misplaced it, but I don't think so. I put the deck in a specific location which others would not have easy access to, and would have no reason to touch it anyway, and when I went back the deck was nowhere to be found.

I looked everywhere for the deck and could not find it. I continued to look for it and continued to come up blank. At least until this week. This week I found the deck. The thing is that I found it in the same place I left it way-back-when and in the time between then and now I have searched that whole area several times with no luck. This time I just happened to glance over and caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye, and when I focused on the area I found the deck right there on top of everything else. This is why I am hesitant to say that I misplaced the deck. Although I can think of no other explanation that makes sense.

Good thing I am not trying to make sense of it. I am just happy to have it back. So now, instead of playing with a regular deck of cards, I am once again playing with this special deck which is only about half full at the moment.

This made my month and I had to share it.

Walk in Beauty.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Yes, Deer.

On my way home from work yesterday I decided to take a slightly different route. I usually avoid this alternate route, which involves getting off the highway an exit or two early, because it is often jammed with traffic. However, yesterday it was clear, at least when I took it.

It was nice because it got me out of traffic, and because of the scenery. It is a smaller road along the side of Blues Hills, so there are a lot of trees, fields, and nice houses. And occasionally, if you are very lucky, some wildlife. I have seen raccoons, skunks, and other animals along this stretch of road, but it is a rare occurrence.

Yesterday I saw, not one, but a family of four deer. They came out of the woods as I approached and crossed into one of the fields. And to add to my luck, the area where they crossed had a small spot where I could pull over without having to worry about blocking traffic. So I did. I pulled over and sat in my truck, just watching the deer for a while.

As I write this I am sitting at work waiting for a process to finish so that I can go on to the next step (it will be another 5-10 minutes) and some birds have started singing right outside our open window.

I know these things wouldn't sound like much to a lot of people, but they are certainly something to me and I wanted to share.

Walk in Beauty.

Sunday, May 02, 2004

"The goal is not to get there first..."

"... or even to get there fast. No, the goal is simply to get there."

These are the words that where running through my head most of the day. I was out hiking and while those words applied to the hike, there are so many more things in life, in my life, to which they apply as well. But let me tell you about the hike...

I went to Blue Hills Reservation and decided to hike up Great Blue Hill. I parked in the lot by the Trailside Museum started up the Red Dot Trail which leads from the parking lot to the Observation Tower on the top of the hill. According to the maps that the Museum puts out, the trail is a one mile hike each way. The trail covers some fairly rough ground and leads over some fairly large rocks. But there are some smoother patches as well.

About halfway of the hill I stopped for a break and to sit for a moment. I was a little surprised at one point when I looked down and saw a rib. From the size, I would guess that it was from something about the size of a large fox or a small coyote. I think that these animals came to mind when I examined the rib because of my chosen sister. It had been picked clean and was sun-bleached so I can only assume that it had been there waiting for me for some time.

While I was taking a break halfway up the hill, I sat with the rib and some standing stones that I stood. I often stop at this location and stand stones. I fact I often reassemble these same stones, although they never come out in quite the same configuration. Not that I would want them to anyway.

So, after sitting for a while, I continued my journey up the hill. It took me a while to reach the top, and I was out of breath by the time I got there, but I did make it. Not first, and not fast, but they were not part of this goal.

I climbed the stairs up the Observation Tower and just stood looking out at the view. You can see for miles on a clear day, and today was very clear. I saw someone under an arch who seemed to be hiding some bottles, and a rather large group of parents and their children showed up, but they didn't climb the tower so it wasn't too bad. :)

I decided to walk the small trail around the top of the hill before heading back down. And I am VERY glad I did. I got an urge to head off the trail and followed it to an area that I don't think I have ever been to before. I was quite surprised when I came upon a structure. It might have looked like a pile of twigs to some people, but it seemed like much more to me.

I sat in the structure for a while. I tried to meditate but mainly ended up watching the ants and listening to the trees. I guess I should say that it was quite windy and the in this area the wind blew through the trees making some beautiful sounds. However, there was another sound that came through. The trees in this area were very tall and straight and the wind made them sway. While they were swaying, a couple of the trees would rub against each other. This produced a beautiful noise that sounded even better when combined with the creaking of the trees.

[ I wish I was better with words so I could describe this sounds for you. I am still fairly new to this type of writing and I am still finding my voice. ]

So I sat, and watched, and listened. And I meditated, or tried at least. And when I got up to leave I left a note simply saying "Thank You." I may not have been able to meditate, or even silence most of the thoughts I was having, but I still felt more at peace than I have for a long time.

I stopped a couple more times on my way back down in order to admire the view. It is amazing, but even the interstate (I-93) can look good from the right place and the right state of mind.

It occurs to me that this is not the first time that I have stumbled upon just the right quiet place at just the right time. I will have to post about the other time (times?) at some future time. For now, it is getting late, I need to post (and link) some pictures, and the battery on my laptop is running down. I know I could switch to AC power, but I think I'd rather not sit at my desk tonight. So I will finish this with what power I have left.

As an aside, I have linked to several pictures in this post. That is because I happened to have a digital camera with me. However, even when I have one with me, I don't usually take many pictures. Also, while the contents of this journal and the Buzznet journal may occasionally cross, don't expect anything like this very often. If you are interested in them you should probably check both.

That being said, There is a way to have thumbnail images of the last few pictures show up in another page. I will probably do it with this journal page, but that won't do anything for those of you reading one of the feeds.

Well, it is time for bed.

Peace and Pleasant Dreams.