Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Much to say, not much said.

I've had a lot running through my head recently, wanting to find a release in this journal. However, now that I sit down to write I find that I can't think of anything. So I guess I'll start with where I am and what I am doing.

I am currently in Nova Scotia at my mother's house. I came up to visit for the holidays to see family and friends. I drove up Christmas Eve, getting in about 2AM Christmas morning, and I will be here for a couple more days yet. I plan to head back down on Friday (the 2nd) so that I have a couple of days to relax after the drive before I have to go back to work. I have managed to get in touch with a couple of old friends so far, but not nearly as many as I would have liked. So now I am sitting here trying to track down email addresses for some others so I can get touch that way. So besides writting this joural entry, I am also writting mails as I find the addresses.

I am doing all this off-line so that I don't tie-up the phone line too much. But I will be going on-line soon to send the ones that I have written so far and to post this.

Maybe I'll do some work on the design of my website and/or journal. The layout of the pages, and the content of the sites outside of these entries...

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Greetings of the Season

Happy Holidays

Well, I got the time off and took a vacation so I am in Nova Scotia. I drove up yesterday and will be driving back down either the 2nd or the 3rd. Hopefully the drive back will be better than the drive up. I also hope that the "Threat Alert Level" will be lowered before I head back down. The level was at "Orange" when I came up, and after going through US Customs with the level at Orange before, I'd rather not have to do it again.

I said, or at least hinted, that the drive up hasn't very good, let me tell you why. Besides not being as rested as I would have liked, the weather was not the best. In fact the weather sucked.

The weather yesterday was grey. At least it was grey until the sun set then it was black. I say it was grey, it was overcast with occasional light rain. As I got further north what rain there was got heavier and when it wasn't raining there was fog. Lots of fog. Fog that cut visibility down to 20 meters in areas that still had snow on the ground. I think it was the rain and warm air (12C) on the snow that caused the fog to get so thick.

But I made it. I got in about 2AM and was completely exhausted from driving in those conditions. Usually when I make this trip, I am a little tired and feel like I was driving all day (which I would have been), this time I was completely wiped and felt like I had lost a day.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Followup to my last post

One thing that I didn't mention in the post was that the last time I had taken pain-killers before all that was around noon. And the last time I had taken any with codeine was about noon on Wednesday.

Also I think I forgot to mention that I have been sick all week. And the stress and late hours weren't helping me recover from the touch of the flu that I had. Friday was the worst.

I guess there would be a question of whether the way I felt on Friday was a hangover or the flu. However, there are a couple of factors which point towards the flu. First, hangovers get better as the day goes on and do not generally give you a fever. I kept feeling worse and worse as the day went on and had a fever of over 38 C (over 100 F for the Americans out there)

However, after sleeping (on and off) for about 16 hours, I seem to be over most of it. And my fever has broken.

I am still going to take a couple of days to myself. I might check my email, but probably won't reply right away. (I heard that "When do you ever?")


Friday, December 12, 2003

At least I am relaxed...

... probably drunk, but relaxed.

Before I go any further let me said that I will probably be unreachable for the next few days. For those of you with my phone number or email address, you are welcome to leave messages, just don't expect a timely response. For those of you without either, or with only the journal address ( you are also welcome to send emails, or whatever other type of message as may be appropriate, just don't expect a timely reply.

OK, now that the disclaimer is out of the way let me say that I have been very bad tonight. But not any more so than I felt was appropriate given the week I have been having. And before you ask, I am not sure whether I will explain that comment or not in this entry. If I don't you should be able to gather why not from what I do post.

And on that note, can I get a "Huzzah" (or a "Voof-dah") for spell-checkers...


Last weekend we got about a two-and-a-half feet of snow. While shovelling out from this, I screwed up my arms (wrists and fore-arms) due to my RSI. [* I believe I wrote about my RSI before, if not just ask and I will write an entry about it *]

Well, my arms where bad enough that I have had to take pain-killers all week. On top of this I have been sick most of the week. (I don't know if it is the flu or what, but I have been sick) And I have a major project due tomorrow (today since it is after midnight) so I have been working late, until 8:00PM or later, all week. Add all that up and it just sucks.

So today I had a REALLY bad day. And something towards the end of it really set me off. I'd elaborate on that, but I can't right now.

The reason I can't is that related to the way my night went after I got home. Or should I say the actions I took after getting home...

As (I think) I said, I had a REALLY bad day today, and stuff towards the end of the day really set me off. I was enraged on the way home. Anyone who has seen this can back me up that it is really not a good thing.

After being home a while I managed to calm down enough to start thinking again. However, I wasn't necessarily thinking well. I decided to have a drink. A glass of mead to relax and calm down. That was over a bottle and a half ago.

OK, Let's be honest, very nearly two bottles ago.

So I have been taking pain-killers (some with codeine) all week, while in a bad mood and under stress. And I decided to drink tonight...

I know this is a bad idea. I am very nearly drunk (while typing this) and know this is a bad idea...

But you know what, I just looked at the clock. It is 1:18, I have drunk close to two bottles of mead, and have to work in the morning...

I am going to stop this entry here and post it before I have too much of a chance to think about it even though I am pretty sure that this entry will not make as much sense (if any) as I would like. I do have one last thing to say...

Hi, Bulldog.

I say that because Bulldog, one of my best friends, is sitting beside me working at his own computer as I write this. I don't think he knows what I am doing at the moment. I am not trying to hide it from him, but I have not explicitly told him about the journal yet even though he has seen me browsing to Blogger a few times and I have told him what Blogger is.

Anyway Bulldog, if you find this, I was not hiding it, I just have not really told anyone about it yet. OK, maybe two people.

OK, I am rambling, and probably drunk. Please forgive this post, even though I am actually going to post it, after spell-checking. (* Huzzah *) Then I am going to bed.

Sleep well. Good-night.

Friday, December 05, 2003

{*Singing*} It's Beginning to Look Less Like Christmas

I have been trying to schedule vacation time around the holidays for a trip back home to see my family and friends. The problem is that we have a very small IT department at work and we need to make sure that we have enough people with the right knowledge to cover any problems that might come up. Add to that the fact that with around a dozen total people in the department (this is including management, developers, network, helpdesk, etc) there aren't many people who can cover each application.

In my case there are two or three applications that can only be covered by me or one other person. A different person in each case. This makes scheduling difficult when everyone is trying to take the same periods off.

I asked management about particular days and am just waiting to hear back from them after they compare it to all the other requests they have gotten.

Oh, and to throw another wrench into the works... The company's lease is up and so we are moving to a new building this month. And given the small department, and the number of computers involved, management wants everyone in IT to work the Friday (late night) and Saturday of the move to help get things up and running, and tested in the new building.

I am glad I am not the one who has to do the scheduling. However, just because I might understand any reasons I might not get the days I am asking for, it does not mean that I would necessarily be understanding about it.

Here's hoping I get the days I asked for.

P.S. I know I said a while back that I would try not to post stuff about work, but I see this more as a post about the holidays and whether or not I will get to spend them with family than a post about work.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

What a perfect end to this day...

I was in the middle of a rather long post, talking about the both the physical and emotional issues I was going through today, when my computer went down. So that post is lost and I don't have in it me to retype the entire message right now.

However, since I know there are people who read this journal, I know of at least two other than me, I don't want to leave this without saying anything. Let me see if I can touch on some of the "highlights" of the lost post...

First, I woke up with a headache, a backache, and pain in my wrists and forearms. The pain in my arms is from a repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). I had written a long explanation of RSIs, but the short form is think of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome... That is an RSI defined by an injury to a specific injury to a specific nerve. Mine is very similar, but the injury is to different nerves in different locations. Still nerve injuries caused by working at a computer, with similar symptoms.

Second, my emotional state was miserable with occasional fits of anger. Right now I am feeling down because I lost the earlier post, which is making it hard to describe my earlier state of mind so I am going to stop there.

Each of these things was feeding the other and making my reactions throughout the day that much stronger.

That is about as much as I can bring myself to re-write tonight.

I hope your day was better than mine.

Monday, December 01, 2003

"Have a nice day."

Up yours! ...

No, that is not directed a specific person. It is directed at the several people who were very insistent that I have a nice day.

I'm sorry, but by the time I finished the first half of my morning commute today it was way too late for me to have a nice day. In fact, I was ready to make sure that everyone who said it had their nice days taken from them as well.

And while I know there are people out there who really love their jobs, it's still pretty bad when the best part of your day is the time you spend at work. Speaking of which, my day over so I am going home. Maybe I'll be able to get myself to write some more tonight.