Contradictions Galore

I really don't want be here. Not that there is a problem with this specific location, I just don't want to be anywhere right now.

I don't want to deal with people.

I don't want to be alone.

I don't want to sit at home.

I don't want to go anywhere.

I don't want to be touched.

But I could use a hug.

I am nothing but contradictions right now.

This has me thinking of several of my friends, especially my Damsel in Shining Armour.

I suppose I should explain who I am talking about since I haven't mentioned her here before.

My Damsel (in Shining Armour) is a very good friend of mine who I've known for about 8 years now. She was 14 when I met her and her mother, who is also a good friend, and I have been watching her grow into an amazing woman. {Not in a creepy way. The perverts in my audience need to stop thinking that.}

Something you need to know, if you don't already, is that I am a large man. I am 6'5", about 300 pounds, and apparently people can find me intimidating. She is maybe 5'1", almost painfully cute, and has the poise, grace, and appearance of a storybook princess. I am protective of all my friends but there is something about this girl that brings this out even more.

There was a night last May when I was having another really bad night and happened to bump into My Damsel. In fact that encounter is the reason I will think of her as My Damsel in Shining Armour.

As I said, I was having a really bad time, due to various interpersonal issues, when she came over. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that issues around a particular person were really getting to me. At this she just stopped, looked me in the eye, and with a fierceness and protectiveness I have rarely seen in anyone said "Who do I have to kill?"

The princess was protecting the knight.

...

I wrote the above earlier tonight and saved it since I wasn't sure what was going to come next, and I really was thinking of going to see a movie and needed to check the listings.

I did not make it to the movies, but I did visit Borders for a while.

I feel a bit better than I did when I started this post, as well as a lot more tired.

I'm off to bed and hope I feel even better tomorrow after a good night's sleep.

G'Night all.